I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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