"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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