Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
