can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
