obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
