Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
