i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
