I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize