Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You are a genius and a whore.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
