Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
