i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Success! We fucked roommates!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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