legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize