One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
