i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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