I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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