REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
