If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
