try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
