Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
