i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
