Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
