her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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