I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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