He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
