when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
