i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
