ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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