then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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