I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
