Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize