Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
