Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize