i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
