ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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