Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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