well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
