already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
