I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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