Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
