and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
