i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize