I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can I color on your dick again?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
