Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
