3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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