yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
