i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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