Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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