i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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