Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
