So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
