i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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