I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think my moral compass just broke
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