Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize