I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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