He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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