Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
