I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize