I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
