First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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