dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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