my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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