Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
