So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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