Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
