Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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