Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm passing your future prison.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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