Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
