the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
