3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
