wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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