I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
