Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
