Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
