these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
