Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
