i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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