Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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