Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize