Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize