these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
