Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
