last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
