do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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