check it out our google latitudes are spooning
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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